


What's Mine is Yours

by ashleighjane



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleighjane/pseuds/ashleighjane





	What's Mine is Yours

 

Petra stares at the paper in front of her, pen clutched in her hand, but she simply can't focus enough to even begin the paperwork, let alone complete it. Instead, she taps the pen against the paper, sporadically, without rhythm. The noise of the pen hitting the paper seems unbearably loud in the silent office. It’s irritating, but Petra just can’t stop herself. She also can't stop thinking about JR, or how she screwed things up with someone so beautiful, and intelligent. Someone who she had never felt judged by, until now. Someone who, most importantly, had been able to make her laugh. Giggle, even. Something Petra has never done, except willingly, consciously, when flirting, usually because she wanted something. It's different with JR. Around her, Petra isn't in control. The way she feels is true. She's often heard how seeing someone they love can make a person's heart skip a beat. She decided long ago that it must be a cliche, as she has been in love before, but never experienced such a feeling. Not with Milos, certainly not with Lachlan, and not even with Rafael, who she had loved so strongly for such a long time. Things were different with JR, though. Her heart might not have skipped a beat, but it had definitely fluttered. All her heart does now, though, is ache.

She reminds herself that it no longer matters what her heart may or may not have done. JR wants nothing more to do with her. After her actions, Petra knows she can do nothing but respect her wishes. She might have had little choice, but her actions had still been wrong. She doesn’t expect forgiveness, however much she craves it. She should stay away, no matter how much her whole body is screaming at her to get up out of the chair, forget work, and go and beg the forgiveness of the woman she has fallen in love with. Her stoic expression fails her for a moment. Her face crumples. A sob escapes her before she places a hand over her forehead. She’s about to have a rare moment of weakness. She needs to allow herself that one small thing. She needs to just grieve what she has lost, then she will be able to complete the work that she had set out to do. After all, she does still have a hotel to manage. Nothing can get in the way of that - certainly not something as fickle as love.

This is scuppered when there’s a knock on her door. Of course. What was Petra thinking, to expect to be allowed time to be upset. No one ever gives her any peace. Two, sharp knocks pull her out of her self-pity. “Just a minute.” She calls out as she sits up straight, slightly panicked. Her eyes are wide. She hadn’t been expecting any visitors. She doesn’t need anyone to see her in such a state. She pulls a tissue from a box on her desk and presses it gently to the corners of her eyes, not wanting to spoil her makeup.

Her walk towards the door is slow, stiff. Almost robotic. She's certain that she doesn't want to see whoever is behind it, or deal with whatever disaster has befallen her hotel.

She reaches the door, pulls it open, and is silent for a moment as she sees JR standing before her.

Petra grits her teeth. She swallows. Her chin juts outs and she looks down her nose at JR. “What are _you_ doing here?” The disdain in her voice doesn't match the relief that she is feeling, but she isn't ready to be open or vulnerable. She isn't open to allow herself to be further hurt or disappointed.

“Excuse me?” JR questions, followed by a short, sharp laugh, as though she wasn't quite able to believe Petra’s attitude.

“Well, you made it quite clear the last time you were here that you never wanted to see me again. Did you leave something?” She moves aside, gestures into the room. “By all means, go ahead. I'm sure you can't wait to leave.”

“Petra.” JR’s voice is calm as she looks directly into petra’s eyes and places her familiar hands upon Petra’s shoulders. “I came here to see you. So whatever this is, you can cut it out.”

“Cut what out?” The question is bitingly sharp. Petra’s whole body is stiff as stares defiantly back at JR.

“Okay.” JR’s hands slip from Petra’s shoulders, and she places them into the pockets of her grey, tailored suit jacket. She sighs as she nods slowly, as though accepting what she had only expected in the first place. “If you’re gonna do the whole ice queen act then I’ll just go.”

JR lifts up a hand, gives a small wave, accompanied by a grimace, then turns to leave. Before she’s had a chance to move a foot forwards Petra calls out. “No.” It was impulsive. Even Petra’s eyes widen in surprise as the word falls out of her mouth. She reaches a hand out, gently grabs onto JR’s bicep. “Don’t go.”

JR freezes. It’s her only immediate response. Petra waits, holding onto a breath that she doesn’t dare exhale, as though such a small disturbance of the atmosphere can alter JR’s decision. Finally, Petra’s patience runs out. She’s no longer able to wait in silence. “Please.” It’s stilted. Petra isn’t used to begging. More used to barking imperatives at her subordinates, asking politely for something doesn’t come naturally to her.

Finally - finally - JR pivots. She pushes her way into Petra’s office, her shoulder bumping against Petra’s, with force. Petra can tell it was no accident but, instead, an act borne from anger, still lingering from their last encounter.

“I told you when we first met.” JR addresses Petra as she pushes papers aside on the desk, and perches herself upon it. Her arms are folded in a no nonsense manner, “I’m not interested in this stupid heart of ice thing you try to do.”

“I,” Petra tries to interrupt but is glad when JR holds up one finger, halting her. She’s glad because she realizes there’s nothing she can say. It’s true. She’s always tried to act like she doesn’t care. She’s always tried to act like she’s better than everyone else when the truth of it is she cares so much and thinks that she’s so much worse than everyone around her. Fake it ‘til you make it. Possibly the only truly useful thing her mother has ever taught her.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Petra.” JR speaks tersely, a furious person attempting to feign calmness. “Please, tell me if I’m making a mistake here. But are you angry with me?”

“W - what?” Petra splutters, as she tries to deny the truth. “No.” Her voice rises in pitch as she tries to seem as though the very thought is incredulous to her. “Of course not.”

“You’re sure about that?”

Petra isn’t sure at all. Despite yearning for JR’s company, a small part of her is seething over the ex-lawyer’s hypocrisy. She considers continuing to deny the emotion, but she doesn’t want any relationship with JR which is built on lies and deception. “You were willing to have me put in jail for murder. You were willing to ensure that I was incarcerated based on nothing but a blackmailer’s assurances that I was guilty. Why? To save your own neck.”

“But you _were_ guilty”, JR reminds Petra. Her brow is furrowed. She seems confused by the point Petra has made.

“You didn’t know that. You just wanted it to be true. Then, when you started to think that maybe I didn’t kill my sister, your conscience got in the way.”

“At least I have a conscience,” JR mutters.

The harsh words cause Petra to flinch, but the momentary slip in her facade is quickly replaced by a stony expression. “If you think I did what I did for myself, you’re mistaken. I have children. Anna and Ellie need me.” Petra shrugs, unashamed of the decisions she made.

JR nods, a look of understanding crossing her face. “So let me get this straight. You’re angry with me because I’m angry with you for doing something similar to what I was going to do. That sums it up, yeah?”

Petra purses her lips and looks down at her hands which are clasped tightly together. Everything is so much more complicated, but JR’s suggestion isn’t totally wrong. “Well, yes, I suppose so.” She looks back up at JR, lips formed into a slightly sheepish smile. “It all sounds rather ridiculous when you say it like that. Honestly, I’ve heard more complicated arguments on the school playground.”

JR shakes her head, then chuckles before pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Look. The thing is, I like you. After everything, I still like you.” She breathes in deeply before dropping her hand back down, which she leans against the desk.

Petra nods, almost imperceptibly. Her smile is watery. A few weeks ago JR had told her she loved her. To hear that be downgraded to like stings. Still, it’s better than hatred. It’s better than JR never wanting to see her again.

“You have to understand, this isn’t me forgiving you. This is me saying I’m not willing to give up on us without even trying.”

“I was scared. I still am.” it's the most honest thing Petra has said since JR arrived. Feeling vulnerable, she folds her arms.

“Of what? Going to jail? The case was thrown out with prejudice, Petra. No need to be scared of that anymore.” Petra hears the bitterness in the former lawyer’s voice.

Petra shakes her head. “Not of that. Of screwing everything up. Being with you made me happy. I don’t get to be happy. Something always happens. From the second I realised I,” Petra pauses. She almost says the word love, but manages to stop herself. It feels inappropriate to use search a term, everything considered, “had feelings for you, I was waiting for something to go wrong. It was only a matter of time. When I am allowed something that makes me happy, I cling to it. And I will do anything to keep it. This hotel, for instance,” Her arms gesture around her, bring attention to the building. “It seems like someone’s always trying to destroy it. But this is mine. I completely rebranded it. It would be nothing without me. I’m not going to let anyone take it from me without fighting them every step of the way. Believe me when I say I'm willing to do anything for the sake of my hotel. I can’t cling on to you though.” Petra shrugs, defeated. Her eyes look full of pain, tears swimming, though not yet falling. “You’re a person. I can’t,” There’s a pause as Petra realizes that, actually, she can control Petra. Controlling people is what she does best. “Don’t want to control you. I can’t fight to keep you. Which means I can lose you. And I’m not sure I can handle having someone in my life who could just walk away.”

“You just did fight to keep me, by being honest.” Eyes narrow as she considers the confession she’s just heard. “Not everything in life is about manipulating people. All I ask is that from now on, you’re honest with me. I’m willing to accept that we both did pretty shitty stuff.” There’s a pause as JR raises her eyebrows. “But, if you ever break my trust again, I’m out.”

Petra’s breath catches. She’s can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. The offer of a second chance is all she’s wanted to hear for weeks. However, now that the offer is actually tangible she panics. “You’re assuming that I’m willing to for us to try again.”

“Are you saying that you’re not?”

“I will break your trust. I will lie to you. That’s just who I am. And you will walk away from me when you get tired of that, because that’s who you are. I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel like setting myself up to have my heart broken.”

JR is silent. Her eyes look up at the ceiling as she brings her arms up and clasps her hands on top of her head. She’s trying to be calm, but it’s clear that she’s anything but. “You know.” She says, finally breaking the silence before returning her arms to hang loosely at her sides. “When I first walked into this office, I was sure I was going to hate you. I was so sure you would be a rich, entitled bitch. I wasn’t wrong.”

Petra flinches. The words hurt, but only because she cares what JR thinks of her. Had anyone else said anything similar to her, she most probably would have laughed, caring little about their opinion.

“I’m not finished. I did strongly dislike you. Then I got to know you. I got to see that you were smart, funny. Brave. Even kind, underneath all the bullshit. So yeah. You have your bad points. And yeah, I’m still pissed that used me to keep yourself out of jail. But I’ve been miserable without you. I’ve missed you. I’m not saying things will be easy, or perfect. Nothing actually worth having ever is.” JR moves closer to Petra. Their eyes lock together. Petra realizes it’s the first time she’s looked JR in the eyes since she arrived. “Tell me you haven’t missed me too, then I’ll go.”

Petra’s whole body becomes rigid. She wants so badly to tell JR that she didn’t miss her. She knows that they’re bad for each other. They’ll only hurt each other. But being away from JR hurts too. And being with her feels so good. Letting JR in might be a mistake, but at least she wouldn’t be left wondering what if? “I can’t tell you that.”

“Guess I can’t go then.”

“I guess you can’t.”

JR chuckles before pulling Petra into an embrace. “You know, I was a damn good lawyer. But I always kinda hated it. You sort of did me a favor.”

Petra awkwardly places her arms around JR. She’s never been much of a hugger. JR’s embrace feels safe, though, and Petra finds herself relaxing. She melts into JR and leans her head against her shoulder. “Thank you.” She whispers.

“For what?”

“For seeing through the fear. For seeing me.”

JR tenderly runs her fingers through Petra’s hair before stepping out of the hug. “I need to get out of here.” She announces abruptly. We should do something. Maybe take the twins for ice cream?”

“I thought you hated kids.” Petra states, surprised by JR suggesting that they spend time with her children.

“You’re kids aren’t exactly kids. Like you said, they’re mini adults. Besides, I’m starting to think that maybe I just hate other people’s kids.”

“Excuse me?” Petra is taken aback, but in a good way. The corners of her mouth lift just a little, forming a hint of a smile.

JR shrugs. “What’s mine is yours.”

“I see.” Petra grins “You clearly only came back for my money.”

“Sure, Pete.” She playfully pushes Petra’s shoulder. “I’m gonna take every dollar you’ve got.”

“I’d love to see you try, Jane.” They have a lot to work through. Petra knows this, but she doesn’t care. JR is there, willing to try, by choice. This makes Petra’s heart feel lighter than it has in a long, long time. It’s filled with hope, for what could be.


End file.
